her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
