im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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