If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
