Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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