We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
