I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
