I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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