party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
