If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
BRING THE BAGELS
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
