things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
