remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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