She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
