Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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