y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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