They should really pass out barf bags in church
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
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