i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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