only you would photoshop your dick
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize