Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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