I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
