Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
