I want to walk on stilts...naked
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My life is pants optional.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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