thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
