We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
