Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
