We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
