You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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