"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
