He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
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She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
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What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Damn victory sex feels great
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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