I can text with my tongue
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
