Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
