you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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