Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
