Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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