The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
