He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize