its not stalking. its research.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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