I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
