I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
