I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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