Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
