K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
