so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize