Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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