He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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