i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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