How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Randomize
