It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
