Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
