dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
