I love black thongs
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
