I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
