Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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