Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
