I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
