you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
