there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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