well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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