YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
