dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
