Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it glows. i had to have it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
