You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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