weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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