im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
