I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize