how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
